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By Khannea Suntzu
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Infect Teh Interwebs

Hi there, thanks for responding. The Room is set to come available (uncertain) 15 march or 1 april. Current occupants are leaving by that time. For what it is worth – you will be living with me and my fiancee, Kaylee. We are both M2F transgenders (*). My passport reads female.

Here’s some music while you read.

You can reach me under, and NL 06 3030.8828 or (intermittently) 070-2114346. I use whatsapp. I am not on facebook.
Items marked (*) I’ll ask for your explicit consent.

Location, contents
The apartment is just shy of the Spuiplein, above Haags filmhuis. The total apartment surface is 80m2 and ‘guests’ get a 9m2 private room. In the room is no furniture except for a wide and comfortable bed (or a bunk bed – I have both) and a small closet. I’ll need to acquire a small fridge for INSIDE your room (I am no longer doing shared fridge, it was too much hassle). There is NO TV in the common area or in your room – I have a really big TV in our bedroom. I may purchase a TV for the common room and you may bring your own TV for your own room (but wit will have to be connected to cable).
Apartment comes with shared use of a well-equipped kitchen, laundry machine, bath/shower, sanitary, internet, a two user Netflix account, fast WIFI. All at no extra costs. You can use the bath once a week, shower every day, but not too long since we have a boiler (*) and if the boiler empties we end up without water to wash the dishes. As indicated the location is pretty much perfect in the Hague. Restaurants, stores, supermarkets, services, library, public transportation, ministries, embassies all within walking distance or “right outside”. HHS is 10 minutes walk. I still have a spare bike you can borrow if you need it.

Houseguest, not a “renter”
What I am offering is people staying as a houseguest at my place – I can’t offer either “registration”, and neither a formal contract. I checked, houseguests are apparently allowed, registered renters are not allowed (*). This is not negotiable. If the topic comes up, the official story is you are ‘couch surfing’ here. I.e. a temporary houseguest. You make sure you have a couch surfing account before we agree to anything (*). This arrangement is based on mutual trust, and fair boundaries.

Legal constraints
Note that for non-EU residents and some EU country origin (and students) registration is apparently a legal requirement, and there is for some foreign exchange students also some kind of formal rule (?), so you need to check on your end how that works. You would have to “register” somewhere else if that’s a requirement.

Cancellation assumes one month from my end or from your end (*). By default I’ll use your deposit as the last month, but I am flexible. Things would have to be really really bad before I cancel an arrangement immediately.

More than one
Hard rule is one person in the room only. Sure you can have occasional guests but four in the apartment for anything over hours every day proved simply unbearable(*). It doesn’t work. The key consideration here is you and any guests you may occasionally have over are discrete (*), and blend in the apartment complex. The housing agency allows me to have couch surfers, sleepovers and guests.

I always have a F2F talks in the Pavlov nearby.

Indoors, outdoors
I am at home most of the time, and being in each others space isn’t always practical. A hard rule for this particular arrangement is you are outside the apartment most of the time, either working or studying. That’s the deal I am offering. I do not at all mind you using the apartment, but being here for sometimes 12 hours a day, lounging on the couch is not what I have in mind. I had roomies who do that, and it doesn’t work. I am a very easy going person, but if you are home ‘all the time’ that’ll be a reason for me to end the arrangement (*).

No smoking indoors. Likewise, If you smoke you can do that outdoors on the balcony, but please no more than once or twice a day (*), since people sitting outside smoking for hours on end may inconvenience or annoy my neighbours. If you need to smoke more, please take a walk around the block (*).

I try to avoid arrangements where the guest speaks little or no international English or Dutch (*). I really appreciate being able to communicate on a wide range of topics.

You having friends over
Once or twice a week should be fine always let me know beforehand. This includes boyfriends, fellow students, Having a guest sleepover every week shouldn’t be a problem for me, as long as they do not trigger on me and my spouse. I agreed numerous times in the past, or didn’t care much. I learned better – I found that some house guests will gradually push and push against this boundary, and I am so done with that (*).

House Keys, Deposit
There’s one thing – you do get a set of house keys from me. These include security keys of the apartment. That means that I need to ask a deposit (*), together with a copy of your passport and an emergency contact for you in case something goes awry. This is not negotiable (*). I’ll put this copy and the 400 deposit in an envelope, and leave it at my bookkeeper. Once you leave you get the 400 euro back and I throw away the copy of your private information. It’s just in case accidents happen.

Medical Insurance
For that same reason I need to ask you if you have medical insurance. Why? I had a roommate turn real sick some time ago, and she was not insured! This was some major drama I don’t care repeat. I feel responsible for people staying here as guests. If you do not have proper medical insurance you need to realize I may HAVE to cancel our agreement if your get very sick – at the worst possible timing imaginable (*). That why I really really really prefer you are properly insured.

Who are we.
More info about who I am and what I do is here rather dubious youtube channel. I fitness almost on a daily basis. I do like to party hard a few times a month. I am a responsible narcotics afficionacy (*) and some people do not like that.

If you think something ought to be cleaned in the apartment, feel free. I am lazy (*).

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